Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month-Meet Shannon

Meet Shannon. These are her words and this is her story.

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On May 30, 2008 I found out I was pregnant. It was a surprise and unexpected. Although I knew it was always a possibility, we were not using any birth control, I did a good job of tracking my cycle. I was at work when I found out and waited until I got home to tell Lyle. 

It took a few days for the shock to wear off, then I started getting excited about our new journey. The following week I made an appointment with my primary care doctor to confirm my pregnancy and to be referred to an OB. I received an order for lab work from my primary care doctor to have my HcG levels checked. These levels can show how far along you are in your pregnancy. My levels on June 11 indicated I was 4-5 weeks pregnant. 

Two days later, I started having some light spotting and my doctor ordered another round of blood work to recheck my HcG levels. These levels should increase daily in a normal pregnancy. On June 13 my levels read 2156, which was up from 1374 two days before. Everything was looking good at that point. 

That weekend, I went from just some spotting to also having some abdominal pain. . On Monday June 16, I called my doctor and again had my blood drawn. After my labs were drawn, I went back to work and patiently waited for a phone call. By early afternoon, I was no longer patient, so I called the lab and requested that my lab results be faxed over to me. 

The results were sent over and I immediately look at the results for that magic number. My heart dropped when I saw 2036. I knew then my body was preparing for a miscarriage.

I went to my office manager and with tear filled eyes explained that I needed to leave. That evening I had severe abdominal pain that lead to the passing of my embryo around 2 am. 

The following weeks and months were filled with all kinds of emotions. I felt like something had been stolen from us. At times I was angry. It was hard for me to see pregnant women.  I wasn't sure why I wasn't able to carry our baby. 

Eventually the emotional roller coaster settled down and everyday life continued. I know I questioned the "everything happens for a reason" quote at times. Now there is no questioning it for me. I know that had we not experienced that loss, then Lyle and I wouldn't have our soon to be 3 year old son. 

Although my miscarriage was something that I would never want to go through again, I can't question God's plan. I couldn't imagine my life without my son and I know that I was meant to be his Mommy.