Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I'm The Lucky One

10 years people. 10 years is a long time. OK, in the grand scheme of things, it's not a LONG time. But, when you are talking about 10 years of marriage, that's a long time. And we you factor in that we got married when we were babies....23 and 24....it's a miracle we survived 10 years of marriage. Many people don't. I feel like it has been an honor to reach this milestone in my marriage. 

Not only has my marriage survived 10 years, our marriage is stronger than it was when we were newlyweds. I didn't even know it was possible to love Nolan more than I did when we were first married, but I do. I don't think I could have a better match for me. And the funny thing is, I don't think that if I could have designed the man for me, he probably wouldn't share many of the same interests as Nolan. A computer guy....nah. A gamer, nah. But, it's not those things that matter, it's mushy stuff on the inside that I love about Nolan....the stuff that I admire. The stuff that makes me want to be a better person. 

Nolan has a soft spot for those who need help. Many times, I would have walked on by a person in need or figured there wasn't much I could do to help them. It's those times that Nolan stops. He's given money to strangers who said they needed it....no questions asked. He's stopped on the road to help a family push their mini van down the street to their drive way when it ran out of gas. He's helped clean up a part of town where the homeless camp out. He's even handed his subway sandwich to the guy on the street corner. 

Nolan is also an amazing dad. He's not ashamed to play my little ponies or to help make jewelry. There is a lot of pink and glitter that goes on in our house, and he takes it all in stride. I'm sure there are times when he wishes there was a little guy to go out and play catch, but you would never know it. His heart melts when those little twins run up to him saying, "dada dada!" Or when they snuggle up and put their head on his shoulder when they are sleepy. And Georgia has always been a daddy's girl. She's always had him wrapped around her little finger. I think the girl could get away with murder around him! And seeing him with our little girls....ah, it melts my heart. 

And Violet. For some, this might have been a huge breaking point in their relationship. We both feel like her death made our relationship stronger. After she died, I was a broken shell of a woman. There was nothing but sadness left in me. Everything made me think of her and that she was not with us any longer. And he fixed me. I don't think he knows he fixed me. He showed me more love than anyone ever has. He sat by my side in the hospital watching me go through the most horrendous experience of my life. He held my hand while I cried. And then watching him grieve for our daughter was beautifully heartbreaking. You really see who someone is when they are stripped raw and that is what I saw in that tiny hospital room. I saw a man broken down and I've never loved anyone more than at that moment. 

This song by Brandi Carlise reminds me of Nolan when I hear it.....

In 10 years we've learned to live with each other....and all of our little quirks, we've bought a house together, adopted a cat and a dog, we've had 4 children, we've helped each other grieve the loss of one child, we've gone through job changes, starting businesses, learning to cook, made life long friends, helped guide each other, challenged each other, and loved each other. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Nolan, I love you more than words. You are the man of my dreams. I'm the lucky one to have you in my life.....thank you for asking me to marry you.