Tomorrow's The Big Day

Tomorrow is the big day. The day we have been waiting for since December 16 when I got a positive pregnancy test. Tomorrow I will be holding my twins and swaddling them and comforting their cries. Tomorrow will be a day of mixed emotion as I think about me and Nolan, Georgia, and sweet little Violet. I hope that she knows she is a big sister too and that we want the twins to know all about her and how special she is to us.

Georgia is a little nervous. Today when I picked her up from school she told me that she didn't want me to go back to the hospital. I asked her why and she said she didn't know. Then I asked her if it was because of what happened the last time, when Violet died. She said yes. Sometimes, you just don't realize how much things effect these little ones. And the entire time we were mourning for Violet, Georgia kept telling us that she "wasn't sad." She might not have been sad, but she associates going to the hospital with Violet's death and she knows that made Mommy and Daddy very sad. And I know that she was very disappointed that Violet is in heaven and not living with us at our house. I am sure that she doesn't want any of that to happen again and this is what is making her nervous. And frankly, I'm a little nervous too. I am trusting that everything is going to be just fine and we will walk out of the hospital Sunday with two baby girls to bring home, but there are always those thoughts that linger in the back of your mind.....those what ifs.

Tonight Georgia and Herbie are spending the night at my parent's house. Georgia will come up to the hospital after school tomorrow. She had the choice of coming with us or going to school. She wants to go to school. And really, that is probably the best thing. That way she will be distracted and have something fun to do while babies are being born. She doesn't care much about what happens before, she just wants to see them after they are born. When we left, she gave me a hug and kiss and then gave my belly one last hug and two last kisses. She said, "see you tomorrow, you two." I'm going to miss those sweet little belly hugs!

And so, while we are all a little nervous and Nolan and I still can't believe this is happening to us, we are ready and waiting to meet our dear little ones. And I can't believe that this is my last pregnancy blog. I will probably keep you all up to date about the delivery, but after that there will be no more pregnancy talk. Weird. It seems that this pregnancy has gone very fast, except for the last few weeks that have been moving at a snail's pace.

So, I bid you all a farewell until I find time to blog again.....and really, who knows when that will be. It might be while I'm in the hospital or it might be 3 months from now. Right now I'm praying for a fast, peaceful, and healthy delivery for my twins, so please keep that in your prayers too. Good night!

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